Almost 2 (and fully 60) years later...

A blog for my dysfunctional relationship with food, and less frequently, women. This ends my "observations of a fat man" series at HYPERBOLE UNLEASHED! Another blogger started something like this, then abandoned it. If she won't do it, someone should! I am an artist, and I love to eat. There are many things I will not eat, but it's always out of wisdom, not fear.

The original title? Sort of. I thought of it, named the blog, then googled the title to find a book by the same name...oh well...

I'll put food-based observations here whenever I can...women-based observations when possible, and I promise that I have almost nothing to say about wine (alcohol rarely passes these lips...other, greener intoxicants beakon). And maybe some spouting off about art...I'll leave the door open. But basically, I'll keep the politics and the autobiographical to HU!, except as regards the mating processes that come up out of consuming food.

Now I have two blogs to ignore!

But I promised to talk about food.

Soo...

Tommy's, known by the one name, and the one product, Earth's finest chili, turned 60 years old yesterday! I love many things about Tommy's, one of them being that this hot dog stand is a certified L.A. original. My relationship with Tommy's goes back to 1969. Yes, these eyes have seen more than half of Tommy's history, and this palate has tasted more than half of their chili. When my blood is taken, I offer original or spicy. When I first tasted their chili, it was at their one location on Rampart. Today, Tommy's has 29 temples...not one anywhere near my house. Tommy's is a destination as much as food for me, until one opens within a 5 minute drive of my home or my work. It's actually amusing, if you can find a map of Tommy's locations, the South Bay is empty, the rest of LA county is well-stocked with Tommy's signs.

Simply put, it's the chili. I wouldn't think twice about Tommy's if not for their sensational chili. I also consider it a low-grade toxic waste, so I can only eat at Tommy's...once a day? Maybe in the 1980's. Once a week is all I dare, and I can't keep that pace for very long. Unless I am dating someone that lives close to a Tommy's...oh my god, my secret is out. We can't date if I can't hit a Tommy's going to or coming from your love lodge...

Women are not as fond as Tommy's as I am. I am impressed by any woman that can eat more than half of any Tommy's chili-covered offerings...and if there's a spot in your heart for them...there's a spot in my heart for you!

For the first 20 years of my life, I would ONLY eat the chili dog: extra chili, mustard and mayonnaise only, please. I love that giant slab of beefsteak tomato they'll gladly slap on top of your chili (on anything you order), but for me, it interferes too much with the taste of the chili. Then in my adulthood I tried a tamale, same prep, same results. Today, because it's less messy: it's a regular burger, again prepared the same way, but easing up on the chili so that I am not wearing it (of all of the chili that has actually made it into my esophagus, at least 30% ended up accessorizing my active wear). One burger patty so as to not take away from the chili's majesty...and to wash it down, a side of chili.